"Well if it's not real and you can't hold it in you hands, 
can't feel it with you heart. Then I won't believe it.
But if it's true and you can see it with you eyes, 
or even in the dark. Then that's where I want to be" 

My brother was in the hospital.
My aunt's dying.
School is GREAT!
My family sucks.
My friends are better.
You like me?! WTF?!
I don't even think I can pretend anymore, not for you or for me.
Done.
I really hope you don't like me...

"Yeah momma this must be my dream...."

"Well now I'm back to the middle of the day that starts it all.
I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling.
And now the red ones make me fly, and the blue ones help me fall.
And I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling.
And as the fragments begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust.
Just think happy thoughts."
 

 

I haven't posted in a long time. And still, I have nothing interesting to talk about. In class today we discussed how to make stocks, sauces, reductions and glazes. We learned the 5 mother sauces: Bechamel, Espagnole, Veloute, Tomato and Emulsion(Hollandaise). We also talked about the small sauses that come from the mother sauces. There are way too many to name so I wont. I can't wait till tomorrow. I LOVE my labs. Tomorrow is my Cooking Lab and in the restaurant the theme this week is German Cuisine. We're also having an Oktoberfest buffet on Weds. I will be helping in the evening..hopefully. Last week in Baking we did Cheese cakes and such. It was fun. I made chocolate cheese cakes. YUM! I'm not sure what we'll be doin in baking this week yet. Hopefully pies. After the Oktoberfest madness we will have a bake sale and have all those yummy treats we all love. There will be cheese cakes, of course, pies, cookies, bars, breads and possibly normal cakes. 

Nothing interesting has happened in my personal life.
I'm bored, lonely, horny, angsty, cold.
I don't mean cold as in indifferent but cold as it's fucking freezing here!
Shit sucks. I hate cold weather. 
Especially since I have noone to cuddle up to and get warm with. 
I HATE being singe. 
I need to find me a lady pronto. 
Anywho, I'm bored again so I'ma go and wander around.
Ponder my life and all that..lol.
Dueces.  

 

I had a shit load to write about a minute ago but I completely lost interest in typing it. It was all philospohical and everything. Weird. Anywho, things are great. School is amazing, my friends are there, the family is ok and my love life is shit. But everything is all good because it's all going to pick up. I can feel it. In other news,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSIE POSIE!
That is all.
 

The past couple day have been weird. I LOVE my classes and my professors.
Everything is starting to fall into place. It's subtle, but it's happening.
With me and my family and my friends.
Everyone's got that take charge of themselves attitude.
I like it.
I must go now. I have class in like 15 mins.
Have a great day El-Jay!

I have absolutley nothing to talk about right now.
I mean things have happened since I last posted but I just can't find the motivation to talk about it.
I like my classes so far.
I want to go home and chillax though for a while.
I have tons of homework already.
I don't mind though, it'll keep my mind occupied.
I started reading Blindness and I like the storyline but I hate the way it's written.
Anywho, I think I'ma go download some music or something.
Peaces.

Don't sit there and pretend to care if I'm upset or not.
And don't act pissy when I don't tell you what's wrong.
You don't ever tell me shit.
So fuck you.

You suck and I hate you.
I'm done.

My last post sucked. 

It's nice out today.
I have a killer headache at the moment. 
I'm hangin out with Melissa tomorrow. Yay.
My aunts cancer is terminal. 
It's pretty shitty.
I have cramps like you wouldn't believe. 
And now I want ice cream..
You have one hell of a life and it should be obvious to me that I'm not good enough to really be apart of it.
Which is cool, whatever.
I can't wait for Warped. 
I can't wait for everything to fall into place. 
I need a job and a car.
I need blah blah blah.
Ok, I'm done now. 
Peaces.
 

So it's only been two weeks since Rob's murder and now there's someone else to mourn.
R.I.P Eddie Mendez.